Based on the reading we have done, we feel that the "attachment parenting" method is best for us. This includes "wearing" the baby during the day (makes for much easier breastfeeding, plus the baby has the comfort and security of knowing Mommy or Daddy is there all the time), sleeping with the baby in the same bed, or at least very close by (again, having the security of a parent, and far easier nursing at night!), and basically letting the baby know that s/he can trust that his or her parents are there for him/her and will respond to his/her needs. Research has actually shown that APed babies grow up to be more confident and (perhaps surprisingly) more independent children, as they learned early on that, if need be, a parent will respond to them, instead of learning (as with "cry-it-out" methods) that their needs will not always be met (which makes for an insecure, dependent child). We will also be using cloth diapers, as they cost far, far less (both in actual cost and because we have to pay for each bag of trash we generate), are (in this area) more environmentally friendly, and, most importantly, are the most comfortable for the baby (diaper rashes are a lot more common in babies who wear disposable diapers). And of course, we will be breastfeeding exclusively for at least six months, with occasional solids after that (hypoallergenic ones) but without weaning until at least a year (which is the current American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation) and more, if the baby wants to continue. Sure, there are a few things in this regard that our parents find amusing or actively disagree with, but my thinking is, they had their chance to raise kids; now it's our turn, and if we make mistakes, that's our problem, not theirs. We will do the best we can with the knowledge that is currently available, just as they did; it doesn't mean our way is "better" or "worse," it's just different, and hopefully that's not a major problem. I'm sure there will be a few things we will change our minds about eventually, depending on the baby's temperment (after all, some babies sleep better on their own, or prefer to wean sooner rather than later), but for now, we think are plans are (in light of all we have read) perfectly reasonable and healthy. Your Mileage May Vary :)
Either way, we are looking forward with anticipation and a little trepidation to the wee one's arrival, and I will try to keep this page updated as the third trimester progresses!
It's been five weeks since Stephen was born (time does fly, on a macroscopic scale...), and we are settling in at last. The first few weeks were pretty rough, though the worst was the first week -- very trying days and nights, as Stephen is not a quiet baby! But AP has been working pretty well so far. Stephen spends most of his day "on" me in his sling: he sleeps a lot better when with a person; and he sleeps with me at night, too, so nighttime feedings are less stressful than otherwise. We have a diaper service (thanks, Cynthia, Frank, and Leslie!) which is just great -- no washing of diapers, with all the niceness of cloth (disposables, even plain paper "Tushies," give him a rash). It's not easy sometimes; I'm sure I'd be able to get a lot more done if he would sleep in his basket, but it's not worth the crying that results from trying to put him down there, and I'm sure he'll grow out of this eventually -- he's only been in the world for 35 days now.
He has been a lot more "verbal" lately, which is wonderful, and we think we may have caught him smiling once or twice, not in his sleep. The noises he makes (aside from crying and screaming) are just darling, little coos and aaahs and such -- very sweet. He does scream something wicked when we give him a bath, though!
Stephen is now a day short of three months, and has really changed a lot -- I've been looking at some older pictures, and it's kind of amazing to me how much he's grown. Our pediatrician mentioned that the "average" baby doubles its weight in six months, but Stephen's done it already, at three. It feels really good to know that every pound he gains comes from me, too. We had to ditch the cloth diapers, much to my chagrin and embarrassment (I'm on a steady diet of my own words lately!), because he's very sensitive to being wet, and would cry and cry unless changed immediately... even if it had only been 15 minutes since the last one. I was changing him up to four times an hour, nursings were interrupted, we were constantly running out of diapers by the end of the week, and forget about a peaceful night's sleep! So, with a guilty conscience but a happier day, we're now in disposables. I'd stil love to go back to cloth someday, though... maybe when his bladder capacity improves. (Not to mention I sewed all those fitted diapers, and will be really peeved if all of that time was wasted!)
Stephen has turned into a rather happy, smiley baby (I'd like AP to take credit for that!). Sure, he still has his rough times when we can't figure out what he wants, but even the Bitching Hour (his evening fuss) has wound down to nearly nothing. He is still very high-needs; won't sleep by himself and will tolerate being put down only if we're right there to entertain him, but that's livable. It just means I get a lot more exercise, walking around with him in the sling (the only way he will sleep during the day). He smiles very easily, sometimes even at strangers, and may be beginning to laugh. He "talks" quite a lot, as well, and his range of syllables has widened significantly. I made him one of those high-contrast mobiles (several of them, in fact, for different rooms around the house), and he loves them, wiggling and squirming with delight when we make them spin. He's startintg to reach for objects, too, though tentatively.
Stephen is 5 months and 2 days old. He has started babbling, rolls from front to back, and laughs a lot. He's still a lap baby, and must be held 95% of the time, but is also learning to play by himself for short periods. We are, of course, still nursing, and he still sleeps with me at night (which is quite nice, and I wouldn't give it up for anything!). Everyone comments on what a sweet, happy, intelligent-looking boy he is, and I agree.
Okay, so it's been a while since the last update... four months, give or take. Stephen has, of course, changed immensely. He sits up by himself, smiles and laughs frequently, gets into and out of a crawling position, stands up with something to balance on, tries to grab stuff out of his reach, eats a few foods (loves avocado, squash, and bananas, all home-made, and also enjoys tomato sauce, chili, and other spicy foods) but is primarily breastfed, naps on my lap at work, and continues to be incredibly adorable. I'll post a "milestones" page soon. He comes into work with us (though once he starts crawling, I don't know what we'll do!) and plays or nurses and sleeps while I work, which is very nice. He has a darling laugh and smile, loves being tickled and seeing silly faces, and seems to enjoy shopping -- lots to see! He's almost trippled his birth weight at 18 pounds; he's still smaller than average, but is the picture of good health, and has never had more than a stuffy nose. He had and liked his first holiday season -- he is enamored of chewing on paper, so the wrapping paper was like manna from heaven for him! (Toys were fun, too, but not as much :)
We have very mixed feelings about him learning to crawl -- on the one hand, it will make him terribly happy to be mobile; on the other, we will need to make some serious lifestyle changes! But we'll see. Maybe he'll just go straight to walking... I'm not sure which would be better, frankly! Meanwhile, he is partially mobile, with a radius of about 3 feet gained from his sitting-to-crawling-to-sitting-position thing. Perhaps a play yard is in order, methinks.